Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
