She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize