Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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