Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
