Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
