if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
