I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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