508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
