But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
