she woke up with a sticky ear
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
