my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
