kristin has been a bad kristin
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
