I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
