Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
