I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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