Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
