just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
