How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
