Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
