is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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