i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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