Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
