Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
