he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
