The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
