Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
