I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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