just tell him i said nine months
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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