So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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