So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize