yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
