just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
