Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
