some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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