the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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