come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
