well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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