the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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