No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
