When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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