I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
