Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
