have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I wish there were birth control emojis
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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