your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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