Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
