I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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