; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
