Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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