I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
