Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
