so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
