I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
