my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
