very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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