He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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