marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
