May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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