im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize