I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
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