Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
