I think scott just propositioned me for sex
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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