i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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