don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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